Fellman's Movie Reviews

RED = SPOILERS 

Episode 2 has its good points. It also has its low points as well. It doesn’t have Jar Jar Binks in it, so it’s not that bad. But it does have those terrible puns by 3PO like “I’m so beside myself” and “Oh, what a drag”. I don’t know whose idea it was to allow that into the final version of the movie, but they should get punched. It’s embarrassing is what it is… You sit there and listen to him say that and it’s just like, “Wow, I had nothing to do with making this movie and it’s making me cringe…”  

What’s it about? Episode 2: Attack of the Clones is about Obi-Wan discovering a plot to kill Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, and tracing it back to the planet Kamino, where he finds the bounty hunter Jango Fett. Jango has supplied the Kaminoans with samples of his DNA to create a clone army for the Jedi Council. But Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi Council are unaware of this Clone Army ever being created. Obi-Wan is eventually led to Count Dooku on Geonosis and captured. As are Anakin and Padme. After barely escaping their execution, the three are saved when a group of Jedi enter the arena and begin to fight back. After being fought to near exhaustion, the remaining Jedi are saved by the newly formed clone army.  

What’s good? I like the story in this one. It seems more, I don’t know if “malleable” is the word I’m looking for, but it seems to move easier, if that makes sense. Other Star Wars movies are really stiff. Episode 2 is kind of light.  

What’s bad? 3PO. 3PO is bad. His lines. Everything he says. Just hearing him talk. His stupid puns. It’s awful.  

The acting? There’s nothing wrong with the acting. It’s not going to win any awards or anything. But it’s not like they were doing anything wrong. Except for 3PO of course… 

The effects? They were as good as they were going to be for that point in time. They were coming from Industrial Light and Magic. And it doesn’t get any better than that.  

Whiny Anakin. Anakin is going through puberty right in front of you the entire movie. He’s crying about how Obi-Wan’s not fair to him. About how he misses his mom. About how much he thinks about Padme. It’s like, “Aw, man… I thought you were the Chosen One…” 

Boba Fett watches his dad get beheaded. Boba Fett straight up watches his dad get his head cut off in the middle of a battle, and then holds it afterwards. It’s like, “Wow, that’s pretty hardcore right there, man…” Have you ever held your decapitated father’s head in your own hands? No… No, I don’t think you have… 

I don’t think killing Tuskan Raiders is a bad thing. They’re clearly evil. They kidnapped and tortured Anakin’s mom to death, so he killed them all. I don’t see a problem with that. They do it to all kinds of people. They killed the entire party that went out to go and find Anakin’s mom except for her husband Lars. They would’ve killed Luke if Obi-Wan wasn’t there. They’re evil, dangerous creatures.  

3PO’s awful puns. The dialogue written for 3PO seems like it was written as a joke, and then left in on purpose just to piss people off. Like “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if we did something so ridiculously stupid…?” And then after a while they were just like “Eh, just leave it in there…”  

Anakin and Obi-Wan last all of 30 seconds against Dooku. They spend all that time chasing Dooku through the desert to get to that hanger just to last all of 30 seconds against him before Yoda has to show up and save them.  

Overall, Episode 2 is pretty good. It’s not one of the best Star Wars of the series, but it’s definitely not one of the worst. It’s still better than the sequels. Next up, The Clone Wars. And as always, May the Force Be With You…