The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Red = Spoilers 

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is a 2022 action-comedy film starring Nicolas Cage in a factionalized version of himself as he’s making a movie about a series of events that’s currently happening to him. It sounds confusing, and it kind of is when you see it from the beginning. But it all starts to come together about halfway through, and it starts getting a lot funnier than it was in the first half. 

What’s it about? Nicolas Cage is a struggling actor whose best days are behind him. He’s having trouble finding work. He’s getting passed over for parts. He’s going to therapy sessions with his daughter and not resolving their issues. His agent, Fink, tells him about an offer from billionaire Javi Gutierrez to be the guest of honor at his birthday party for the price of $1 million. Nick refuses until he is locked out of his hotel room that he has been staying in for the past 6 months, and he calls Fink and tells him that he’ll take the job and then he’s quitting acting. When Nick gets to Majorca, at first, Javi is nervous to meet him, but the two quickly become friends. Nick is then kidnapped by a pair of CIA agents who tell him that Javi is an international arms dealer and that he’s kidnapped the daughter of a politician. Nick doesn’t believe them, insisting his acting instincts would’ve told them if Javi was a criminal or not. After convincing Nick to assist them, the CIA agents have Nick break into Javi’s camera control room. But things go wrong when he touches a nerve agent to his forehead. The next day, the pair go on an adventure where they drop acid and write more of Javi’s movie script. They then see a shrine Javi has of all Nick’s movies. Nick goes back to Vivian and tells her that the daughter of the politician isn’t on Javi’s compound, and Vivian suggests putting a kidnapping in the movie to get Javi’s reaction to it. Nick tells Javi his new idea and Javi thinks he is distracted by family issues. Vivian tells Nick to get out, or possibly kill Javi because she can no longer secure his safety when Javi comes to show Nick that he’s brought his family there to the villa with them. Nick begins to apologize to his wife and daughter while Javi goes to meet with his cousin, Lucas, who it turns out is the real arms dealer. And Lucas tells Javi that he has to kill Nick or Lucas is going to kill Javi. Nick and Javi face each other at the cliffs where they became friends, but neither can come to kill the other when Lucas’s men show up and try to kill them both. They get back to the house to find out that Nick’s daughter, Addy, has been kidnapped. Vivian is forced to lure Nick and the others to a CIA safehouse where Lucas’s men can ambush them, but instead, sacrifices herself to kill Lucas’s men. Then, using some prosthetics, Nick and Olivia fake their way into Lucas’s compound, posing as a reclusive criminal couple. After escaping the compound in a jeep, the group is chased to the American Embassy where Addy tosses Nick a knife which he uses to finally kill Lucas. 

What’s good? It’s a great script. It’s funny How Nick Cage can laugh at himself for not being a superstar actor. And it’s great how they patched in little scenes from old Nicolas Cage movies here and there. The script is jerking him off so much, you’d think he wrote it. But he didn’t. Which makes it even funnier.  

What’s bad? There’s not a whole lot that’s bad about it. Maybe, Nick’s singing at Addy’s birthday party. That’s kinda bad. Aside from that, it’s a pretty good movie.  

The acting? Everybody does a good job in this movie. From Nick Cage himself to the girl that got kidnapped in the beginning.  

The effects? They’re great. It’s a deep-fake looking CGI Nicky that they’re using, and you can hardly tell, so, I’d say the effects are just about modern. 

The movie starts by talking about Nick Cage. The movie starts with two people watching a Nicolas Cage movie, talking about how great he is. It’s like they’re subliminally trying to get people to like Nicolas Cage with a fake movie about Nicolas Cage. 

He’s literally having visual hallucinations of himself. He’s literally having hallucinations while he’s driving. That can’t be a healthy thing.  

His daughter’s in therapy. His daughter came to therapy with him, and she didn’t seem too happy about it. It didn’t seem like it was the first time she was there, either.  

Humphrey Bogart. That does sound like a good porn actor name. HUMPhrey Bogart… That works if you really exert the “hump”… 

What are those guys hitting them with? What are those things those guys are hitting them with? It looks like they tore a bush out of somebody’s front yard and just started whipping them with it… 

Nick Cage movies are interspersed throughout the movie. I like how there are scenes from Nick Cage movies just patched in here and there throughout the movie. Like the scene from Con Air in the beginning where he’s giving her the bear. They put it in early so they could use it later on.  

What’s wrong with Croods 2? When Martin was saying he’s 44 years old, why would I have seen Croods 2? What’s wrong with Croods 2? I’m 39 years old, I was watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just a few weeks ago. Nothing wrong with that… 

I kinda have to see Paddington 2 now… I’m intrigued as to why Paddington 2 had such an influence on all of these people. I feel like I have to see it, just to know what’s going on… 

He’s making out with himself in the bar. He’s literally making out with himself at the bar. Nobody else can see it. It’s all mental. But he’s making out with himself, in his own head. And what’s worse? 

Dropping acid can’t hurt. If you’re trying to free your mind, dropping acid will certainly achieve that effect. I don’t know if driving high speeds in a sports car in Spain on acid is a good idea. But that’s an argument for another time… 

The wall scene is one of the best in the movie. The wall scene is one of the best scenes in the entire movie. How many times have I been in that exact situation? Life or death struggle? Impossible choices? Insanely tense moments? When in reality, there’s no danger whatsoever. There’s no tension, at all. There’s literally no struggle happening, in the least.  

Vivian’s right about needing a hook. Vivian’s right. The majority of people out there need some sort of trailer to attract them. Look at this movie. It’s smart, witty, funny, got great reviews, the numbers on rottentomatoes.com and metacritic were very high. And yet, financially, the movie was a flop. And I’ll tell you exactly why: Because they weren’t playing to the lowest common denominator. 

That sucks he has to kill Nick or he dies. Javi finds a friend in Nick that he connects with instantly, and he’s forced to kill him, or his boss is going to kill him. That’s just bad luck… 

Where did those bikes come from? Where did Lucas’s men get those motorcycles from? By the time Nick and Javi made it back to the jeep, they seemed to just sprout those motorcycles from nowhere. 

She threw a knife at his head. Addy literally threw a knife at her dad’s head, with no concern for his safety. She was assured that he was going to catch it. Was that some sort of trick that they had practiced? Why would she do that? She just hurled that knife at his head out of nowhere and hoped everything would work out okay.  

So, yeah. Go and see The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. I think it’s a great movie. There’s a lot of great acting going on, as well as a bit of action near the end. And get ready for some foul language if you’re one of those people who gets upset about that. And as always, keep on watching, with a smile on your face…