Fellman's Movie Reviews

Austin Powers in Goldmember is the third installment in the Austin Powers series after Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Mike Myers plays four different characters in this movie, including Austin Powers and Dr. Evil, as well as Fat Bastard, and a new villain, Johann van der Smut, AKA “Goldmember”. Beyonce Knowles is the “Bond Girl” for this film. And most of the usual cast members return for their roles: Seth Green, Michael York, Robert Wagner, Mindy Sterling, Verne Troyer, and Michael Caine plays Austin Powers’ father, Nigel Powers.  

For as unfunny as the second movie was, this one is even worse. Mike Myers is completely unashamed about pandering off a rehashing of what works just to make more money. He’s not an artist, he’s a hack. Half of the jokes in the movie were used YET AGAIN and not even in a funny way. There’s even a scene with Ozzy and the rest of the Osbourne family where he’s making a joke about how they make the same jokes over and over again and how unfunny it is. Ozzy knows it’s true. Anybody else watching this movie has to be able to see it.  

And the plot itself makes no sense whatsoever. Myers says they wrote a script. They didn’t write a script. They wrote a bunch of poorly worded jokes and put them together with time travel. That’s not a script. That’s a high schooler’s creative writing paper. And then at the end they turned it into a huge soap opera like it was funny. Free comedy tip, Mike Myers: parody movies are only funny if the acting is good. You can’t make a horrible movie and expect it to still be funny, no matter how funny the script is. And this script was also horrible, so that just exacerbates things. 

Another thing that really bothers me about these movies are the effects. I know they’re supposed to be kind of bad for comedic purposes. But sometimes it’s just a little over the top for me. Like, I think they take the joke too far and think people are going to get it as much as they get it. But they’re the ones making the movie. I really think they’re having a lot more fun making the movie than they are putting the movie out.  

Which isn’t necessarily a good thing. Because they’re making the movie for themselves. Obviously, a lot of people still went to see it. It grossed almost $300 million. But a lot of people went to see the all women version of Ghostbusters, too. That’s not as good of an argument as you think it is. And in the end, do you want to remember the fun time you had on set making the movie, or do you want to be remembered for the movie that you made? I would want to think you would want to be remembered for the movie that you made. 

So, no. Don’t go see Ausin Powers in Goldmember. It’s a terrible movie. It’s worse than the second one. And I know it’s part of a trilogy. You can watch it if you want, just to see the end of the trilogy. But be warned, the second one was bad. This one is worse. Watch it at your own risk. And as always, keep on watching, with a smile on your face…