Fellman's Movie Reviews

Aquaman is a 2018 superhero film based on the character from the DC universe. The movie stars Jason Momoa as Aquaman, Amber Heard as Mera, Willem Dafoe as Vulko, Patrick Wilson as King Orm, Dolph Lundgren as King Nereus, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Black Manta, Temuera Morrison as Tom Curry, and Nicole Kidman as Atlanna. The film is an origin story of Aquaman. From his birth, up to him finding his legendary trident, and becoming the King of Atlantis. 

For some reason, a lot of people went to see this movie. But I can almost guarantee you, most of them were highly disappointed. This is flat-out, a bad movie. From the special effects, which were less than spectacular, to the acting. Which, once again, left much to be desired. And let’s not forget the writing. Not just the dialogue, but the story, and the plot in and of itself. Not only is Aquaman just not a good character to begin with, but to not have good writers on top of it? Well, that just makes it even worse, doesn’t it? 

The entire time I was watching this movie, I kept saying to myself “wow, this movie really sucks…” And not just once or twice. It was every 10 or 15 minutes. The CGI is pretty bad. Which is pretty weird, considering most of the movie takes place underwater. You’d think they would focus a lot on that one particular aspect of the movie. I don’t know if they were green screening their heads onto body doubles, or how they were putting together these shots, but it certainly looked terrible by the end. 

And the acting is on the bad side of worse for the entire movie. Jason Momoa has possibly the worst delivery of a superhero I’ve ever seen. I’m not quite sure what he was trying to do. Whether he was trying to be funny, or intimidating, or take acting lessons, or… just something. But whatever it was, it wasn’t working. And the same goes for everybody else who was delivering the poorly written dialogue with him in all of the scenes. With their stone cold faces and their dead eyes. Nicole Kidman was particularly terrifying. Her face just didn’t turn off. And I don’t know if Patrick Wilson was supposed to be emotionless on purpose. But that’s the King Orm that you got.  

And let’s not forget the Lord of the Rings style battle scene at the end of the movie that really just comes out of nowhere. All of the sudden there’s a giant underwater war between kingdoms? How did we get here? Why are we in a battle all of the sudden? When did this battle start? What’s that monster? What the hell is going on? These are all of the questions I was asking as I was watching this movie. I know Aquaman can talk to fish. But, did he just make a sea monster? Now, you lost me… 

Now, I don’t usually say this, because I think you should usually see a movie if it’s good or bad. If a movie’s good, it’s worth seeing. If a movie’s bad, it’s worth seeing to see how bad it is so you can make fun of it. This isn’t worth making fun of. It’s literally a waste of time to watch this movie. So, no. Don’t go and see Aquaman. I guarantee you have more important things to do. And as always, keep on watching, with a smile on your face…