Slotherhouse

Red = Spoilers 

In what might be one of my new favorite movies of all time, Slotherhouse is a 2023 horror/comedy about a murderous, sadistic sloth named Alpha, rampaging through a sorority while the girls are picking a new house president. And not only is Alpha killing people, but she holds grudges. She takes selfies with people that she kills and tags them as she’s killing them. She taunts them as she’s killing them. She’s malevolent. Sloths look like they’re smiling naturally. This sloth smiles even more as she’s killing people. She enjoys doing it.  

What’s it about? The movie begins in Panama where a group of poachers shoot a sloth and stuff it into a bag. But not before it falls into the water and kills a crocodile that was attacking it, showing that it’s an unstoppable killing machine. Nonetheless, the poachers take Alpha back and cruelly put her in a cage. Meanwhile, the main character, Emily runs into one of the poachers at a mall, and he asks her if she wants to buy an exotic animal. She later decides that she does and texts him, setting up a meeting. The poacher takes Alpha out of the cage, and Alpha promptly kills him. Emily shows up at the poacher’s house the next day to find Alpha sitting there, looking cute, and she takes Alpha home with her, assuming she’s in distress. Alpha, of course, is not. As the movie continues, Alpha continues killing the girls in the house until there are only a few left and there is a final showdown between Emily and Alpha.  

What’s good? It’s a funny movie. It’s a B movie. Don’t expect Star Wars production values or anything. But the dialogue makes you laugh and the look on the sloth is worth watching just in and of itself. 

What’s bad? It’s a B movie. The acting is less than Oscar-worthy. And the script isn’t great. It’s not terrible. But it’s not anything that’s going to win any awards. 

The acting? They’re trying. You gotta give it to them. They’re doing their best. It’s not horrible. At least there’s that.  

The effects? The practical effects are done well enough. I don’t know exactly how they were doing the sloth. If it was a puppet, or if it was maybe, a robot of some sort. They made it blink and turn its head and do several things, so I’m not sure about that. 

The plot? The plot is simple enough. The sloth shows up. They’re choosing a house president. The sloth is killing people. It gets a little confusing in the middle when things start happening for seemingly no reason with no explanation and never get mentioned again. But that’s a story for another time, I guess. 

The ever-changing sloth. The sloth started off being able to kill a crocodile in the Panamanian rain forest. As far as I know, sloths can’t do that. That was the beginning of the movie. By the end of the movie, it could drive a car, punch clear through a woman’s stomach, and it took a sword through the gut like a G and didn’t even flinch.  

The 40-year-old sorority sister. For some reason, there’s a 40-year-old sorority sister who still lives in the house and gets drunk all the time that seemingly does nothing but drink and talk to people. She’s just this babbling old boozehound that comes stumbling up to people, telling them stories about old classes of the sorority. She’s shown several times, passed out in a chair, wasted before she’s killed in a drunken battle with the sloth.  

If you want my advice, see Slotherhouse. It’s worth it. The sloth alone is worth it. The joke at the end will add some bang for your buck. But you’ll definitely get a kick out of it. And watch the credits. The credits are fantastic. The song is great, as well as the animation that goes with it. Slotherhouse might not be a great movie, but you’ll certainly want to see it. And as always, keep on watching, with a smile on your face