UHF

Red = Spoilers 

UHF is a parody movie written by “Weird” Al Yankovic and Jay Levy. It centers around George Newman. A loser who can’t keep a job and has an overactive imagination. His uncle comes into an old tv station in a poker game, and he makes George the manager. By accident, George puts the janitor on a kids show, and it becomes the highest rated show on the station, turning the entire station around. UHF wasn’t successful in its day, but it’s become something of a cult classic over the years. There’s a few references to George Newman and UHF in pop culture if you look closely enough.  

What’s it about? We start in an Indiana Jones parody, walking along some ancient temple when George’s guide gets really scared and refuses to go any further. So, George continues past a bunch of stop signs, until he gets to an altar with an Oscar on top of it. He pulls out a bag of dirt and gets ready to switch the two, and then just grabs the Oscar anyway. Which triggers a trap and sets a giant boulder rolling down towards him. The boulder chases him past several obvious backgrounds until he gets flattened by the boulder and then he wakes up in front of a burger grill and you realize he’s daydreaming, and he works at a burger place with his friend Bob. George and Bob incidentally get fired for bad-mouthing the boss minutes later and head home, jobless, searching for work, yet again. Later, Bob’s uncle Harvey wins a UHF tv station in a poker game and instead of selling it, makes George the manager. George takes Bob and his girlfriend Teri with him to check the place out. There they meet Pamela the secretary and Philo the station engineer. Soon, a package gets delivered for the head of the rival television station, Channel 8, and instead of forwarding it, George decides to take it over there himself as a way to meet them in person. When he gets there, it turns out the head of the station isn’t as jovial as George is, and George is thrown out. On his way out he meets Stanley Spadowski, a janitor who has just been fired from Channel 8 and offers him a job at his station, Channel 62. Once there, Stanley Spadowski’s Clubhouse becomes the main program on the station, surrounded by a cadre of other bizarre shows that turn out to be extremely popular and end up rivaling the other networks. George’s uncle Harvey gets a call from his bookie and is told that he’s done poorly at the track and is down $75k and he needs to pay up by the end of the week. The owner of Channel 8 finds out about this and offers to buy the channel in exchange for the $75k. George asks Harvey if he can at least have until the end of the week to come up with the money. Harvey says “okay”. George and the others put on a telethon at Channel 62 to try and raise the $75k but come up $2000 short right at the end, when a homeless guy offers to buy the last remaining stock in the station for $2000 and save Channel 62.  

What’s good? It’s a movie for movie lovers. It wasn’t a commercial success, and it’s okay to see why. It’s not that it isn’t funny. It’s still an entertaining movie. To a point. It’s just not the kind of thing you’d watch over and over again. Some things stay funny. UHF doesn’t stay funny… 

What’s bad? It’s certainly dated. It was made for the time that it was in. A lot of the things in the movie don’t really apply anymore.  

The actors? The actors were okay, as far as actors go. Michael Richards is one of the greatest physical comedians I’ve ever seen, next to Jim Carrey. I really think he’s one of the best of all time.  

The effects? As far as effects go, this was 1989, on a budget of 5 million dollars. I know that sounds like a lot of money, but when it comes to making movies, it really isn’t. The effects they did have, with the boulder rolling, and green screen backgrounds, and the flattening Al, that all cost money. Not to mention the helicopters and explosions.  

Where’d that train come from? Why’d that guy get hit by that train when he left the temple? That seemed kind of Looney Tunish… 

Dipping that twinkie? So, wait, he cut open a twinkie, put a hot dog inside of it, sprayed cheez whiz on top of it, and then proceeded to dip it in a mug full of milk and eat it? That’s literally one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard of in my life… 

He dunks the dog. When George is at that party with his aunt and uncle and she calls him over, he straight up just tosses the dog in the punch bowl. He couldn’t even put the dog on the ground. Like, he just drops him into the punch bowl, pretty much on purpose. 

Crazy Larry’s gonna club that baby seal. What kind of sales pitch is that? Isn’t that a hostage situation? That’s literally terrorism. Using fear to get what you want? Come buy a car, or I’m gonna club this baby seal! That’s terrorism… 

The blind guy solving the Rubik’s cube. Eventually, he’d get it. Have you ever heard the phrase “a million monkeys on a million typewriters will eventually write the works of Shakespeare.” It’s only a matter of mathematical probability. 

Spatula City. 7 Locations. How many different kinds of spatulas can there really be? Could there really be enough to fill seven locations? That’s a lot of spatulas.  

Dire Straits video. Was that just the video for “Beverly Hillbillies” that they put in the movie, or was there another full-length music video? Because I remember a whole different one.  

Life is like a mop. Of all the things life is like, “life is like a mop” might make the least amount of sense… 

Philo is scary. Philo is just creepy as hell. He’s like a sinister Bill Nye. 

Turtles are not suction cups. You cannot use turtles as suction cups. I wonder if anybody watching UHF tried to do that. I certainly hope not. 

A pile of poodles. There was a whole pile of poodles down at the bottom of the building. That means he was just throwing poodles out of his window every once in a while, trying to teach that dog to fly… 

Ghandi II. Ghandi’s only non-violent until you push him too far. And then you better Mahatma-get-goin… 

The fuzzy dice in the helicopter. Like Han’s dice in the Millenium Falcon. Although, I don’t know if that’s what they were going for in this scene or not. 

A happy ending. And like most 80s movies, this story has a happy ending. Because why wouldn’t it? Because after all, who doesn’t like a happy ending? 

So, yeah. Go and see UHF. It’s a good time and a fun point of reference for those who are in the know. People who like movies like movies like this. And as always, keep on watching, with a smile on your face…