Fellman's Movie Reviews

Red = Spoilers 

Austin Powers is a 1997 parody of the James Bond films. It stars Mike Myers as both the title character, Austin Powers and his nemesis, Dr. Evil. Austin is an overly promiscuous spy from the 60s who was considered the top agent and a star back in his time. When he gets unfrozen in the 90s, Austin finds that things have changed and he’s not the hero that he once was 30 years ago. He’s forced to learn how things work in this new era while trying to capture the unfrozen Dr. Evil that’s recently come back to terrorize the world.  

What’s it about? We start with a musical montage and then head to a London nightclub where Austin chases Dr. Evil to an escape pod which turns out to be a cryogenic freezing machine. Austin volunteers to be frozen as well in case Dr. Evil ever returns. 30 years later, Dr. Evil does indeed return, and Austin is unfrozen to find him. Dr. Evil meets his new associates, Frau Farbissina, a former employee, Paddy O’Brien, an Irish assassin, Number 2, the face of Virtucon, the evil corporation that funds Dr. Evil, and Scott, Dr. Evil’s cloned son. Virtucon is a multibillion-dollar corporation, while Scott is a resentful teenager towards his father for not being there his entire life. After being unfrozen, Austin meets Vanessa Kensington, the daughter of Mrs. Kensington, the woman he worked with in the 60s. Posing as a married couple, Austin and Vanessa track Number Two to a casino in Las Vegas and meet his Italian secretary, Alotta Fagina. Basil Exposition from British Intelligence instructs Austin to infiltrate her penthouse and find some information on her. He finds Dr. Evil’s plan to drill a hole into the Earth’s core and trigger volcanic eruptions across the globe. Fagina seduces Austin and discovers his identity, allowing Dr. Evil to create a series of Fembots. Evil android robots designed to seduce and kill. Austin and Vanessa infiltrate Virtucon in disguise but are captured before they can get to their destination. Dr. Evil sets them both in a death trap involving ill-tempered seabass, while the United Nations is forced to concede to his demands. Dr. Evil proceeds with his demands while Austin and Vanessa escape from the death trap. Vanessa is sent back for help while Austin goes to look for Dr. Evil. On his way Austin runs into the Fembots who have guns in their breasts equipped with knockout gas. Austin defeats them by making their heads explode with “cross-mojonation” until Vanessa comes back and finds him. They make their way to Dr. Evil’s main lair where Austin shuts off the doomsday device at the last second, saving the world and making the underground lair self-destruct while Dr. Evil gets away, freezing himself yet again.  

What’s good? The first Austin Powers is actually really funny. I used to think it was too parody-y, if that’s a thing. Which it isn’t. But then I realized, a parody is a parody, and you can’t go over the top on a parody. That’s what parody is for. And when you watch it again, you realize the first Austin Powers is a silly-stupid kind of funny. It’s funnier when you watch it more than once. 

What’s bad? The acting is bad intentionally. What’s bad is done intentionally. It’s a parody. So, what’s bad is bad on purpose.  

The acting? They’re doing good at acting bad. They’re all good actors and they’re making fun of acting. Once again, it’s a parody, and it’s a well-done parody. 

The effects? The things that are done are supposed to look shoddy. Like when the guy gets his head eaten in the seabass tank. It’s supposed to look poor because it’s a parody. 

Where did that parade come from? That parade just came out of nowhere. It was like a Looney Tunes cartoon. This giant parade just came out of the side street. It wasn’t even making any noise before. 

What’s that Bob’s Big Boy doing in London? Do they even have Bob’s Big Boy in England? I thought that was an American thing? 

Mike Myers was very talented at one point. When he was younger, Mike Myers was a very talented physical comedian. The way he moves and his facial expressions in this movie are hilarious. You can’t deny his abilities IN THIS MOVIE. The other two movies are absolute garbage. But you can’t deny, this one is funny. 

There’s a lot of funny jokes in the first movie. There’s a lot of funny gags in this movie that were just at the right place at the right time. He even said almost 40% of this movie was improvised. That’s probably why it’s so funny and why the other two are so bad. Because they tried to recreate what they did in this one. It’s really obvious when you hear the jokes. 

It’s all low brow humor. Yeah, it’s a lot of low brow humor. Sex jokes and toilet humor. But it’s still funny. It’s still good for a laugh. If you can’t laugh at low brow humor, you need to lighten up… 

Danger’s my middle name. You just know, when he wrote that line, he couldn’t wait to perform it. He was chomping at the bit to say it. It’s too funny. It’s a line that could’ve gone on Saturday Night Live. I still laugh out loud when I see that scene.  

Swedish made penis enlarger. I think that scene is one of the best scenes in the entire movie. How it keeps progressing from one thing to the next until eventually he just gives up and goes “alright, alright, just give me the thing and I’ll sign it…” 

Burning Mustafa. If you listen really close you can hear the people on the other side of the phone that Dr. Evil’s talking to about killing Mustafa talking about bringing a gun and killing him.  

Me lucky charms. How could he not know what Lucky Charms are? It’s a very popular cereal.  

Unfrozen Mr. Bigglesworth. Those hairless cats are weird looking. I think a villain looks even more villainous with a hairless cat than he does when stroking a regular cat. Because the hairless cat is just so creepy looking.  

Random Task. I like how parodies work. Random Task = Oddjob. And instead of throwing his hat he throws his shoe. Change one thing to make it funny. Weird Al’s been doing it for 40 years.  

Just flat out asks if she wants to have sex. He’s not subtle about it at all. He just asks her if she wants to have sex. That’s the kind of confidence you need as a young man. Austin Powers level confidence.  

“Oh, I fell over…” Does that ever work? Where did that spinning bed come from, anyway? How do you get a spinning bed installed on an airplane? I guess when you’re a secret agent in the 60s you can get stuff like that. 

He does the Macarena. Why is Dr. Evil doing the Macarena to try and impress Scott? Is that supposed to make him think that Dr. Evil is young and cool? Do young and cool people do the Macarena? 

He gives Paddy a swirly. He killed Paddy O’Brien with a swirly. Even for a secret agent, that’s pretty impressive. You’ve never seen anybody killed with a swirly before… 

Why would he have that business card? Why would he have that business card that says “Austin Powers – Secret Agent” That seems like it can only lead to unhelpful situations. 

She killed those guards for a demonstration. Frau Farbissina brought in those guards specifically to demonstrate the Fembots. She brought them in to kill them. But they’re bad guys, so I don’t think they really care about their guards that much. 

He punches Basil’s mom. How many people has Austin punched, assuming them were men? And how many times has it worked? 

Why did they dress like Halloween costumes? When they infiltrated Virtucon, why did they dress like they were going to a Halloween party? They could’ve dressed like regular people and gotten in much easier. 

They told him to move. They told that Virtucon guard to get out of the way. It took them like 30 seconds to run him over and he still didn’t move. It was completely his fault. They shouldn’t even feel bad. I wouldn’t.  

Sharks with laser beams. As a supervillain, I can understand wanting sharks with laser beams on their heads. Not that I’m a supervillain, I’m just saying, I can see with him being a supervillain, how he would want sharks with laser beams on their heads. It’s an understandable request.  

Head puns. How many head puns do you think they could have come up with before they stopped after that guard got his head eaten if they’d have kept going? Because they did four. You have to wonder if they could’ve continued the joke for even longer. I can see that bit going on for another minute or so and making it really awkward. 

How did he get that cart sideways? How did they get that cart into that hallway? Because when he’s backing it forward and backward, it’s clearly a different cart than the one they were driving originally. And it’s also clearly too long to have gotten in there by itself. So, how did that cart get vertical into that hallway? 

He kept dancing. Austin kept dancing after he made the Fembots heads explode, and he kept dancing until Vanessa and the other soldiers showed up. But how long would he have kept dancing if they hadn’t shown up? He was in a real groove there. He was still going on from the dance sequence from earlier. Who knows how long he would’ve just kept dancing if Vanessa and the others hadn’t shown up and interrupted him.  

So, yeah. Go and see Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. It’s the one good Austin Powers movie and has apparently been ranked 42^nd on Bravo’s “100 Funniest Movies of All Time” list. And as always, keep on watching, with a smile on your face…